North2
A world record breaking expedition to the North Pole
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27Mar2010 Pitch and Toss
I’m sat on a bed and typing this on a laptop. Neither are things I expected to be doing this Saturday afternoon. If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that one of the two plastic five-litre fuel containers in the back of my sledge broke, at some point on Wednesday, contaminating nearly all of my food bags with Coleman fuel. I’m still reeling from the shock of discovering this, on the morning of the third day of the expedition, and sat here in a world that is suddenly too comfortable -my skin itches when the heating is on, my toes have pins and needles, my fingers are puffy like sausages and my lips are numb- I’m still planning my next move.
On Thursday morning my two options were to have an airdrop of more food and fuel, a decision that would mean my expedition would become “supported”, a fundamental compromise that I was unwilling to make on this trip, or to be picked up and to restart the expedition at a later point.
Now I’m back in civilisation, the big decision I’m weighing up is just how long to postpone the attempt. The earliest I can go again from the north coast is on Tuesday (30th March), a date that is at the absolute end of the safe window for starting from the Canadian coastline, and that coincides with the full moon, the highest and lowest tides, and therefore the highest chance of dangerous ice conditions at the outset of the journey. And with gale-force winds forecast in Resolute in the next 24 hours, it’s likely that my drop-off flight could be punted into early April. None of these factors bode well for success. The other option is to postpone by forty-nine or so weeks and come back stronger, wiser and better-equipped in 2011, but this leaves me a year to second-guess my decision, stewing in regret (the attached photo is a self-portrait taken at the end of my retreat back to land, bitterly disappointed) and the chance of even worse ice conditions next year. It’s the toughest decision I’ve had in yonks. I’ll let you which way we’re heading in the next day or two, and I’ll leave the parting thoughts to Reinhold Messner, and a half-stanza of Kipling’s coruscating If.
“My attitude was, let’s see, let’s go. If we fail we will learn something. Then we will go back.”
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss
About this journal
This journal is coming to you from the high Arctic, where Ben Saunders is attempting to set a new world speed record from Ward Hunt Island to the Geographic North Pole. The current record was set in 2005 by a guided team using dog sleds and numerous re-supplies in a time of 36 days 22 hours. Ben’s expedition will be solo and unsupported and on foot. Read more about the expedition and Ben
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Ben will be uploading a photo from the ice to accompany each journal entry.
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16 comments
Having to even make that decision must be tough, but deciding on which one to go for, rather you than me.
The way I, in my polar-ignorance, see it, heed what Messner said, go as soon as you can (you may get lucky with the ice and weather). If the ice is bad or the weather isn’t playing ball, or for whatever reason your progress is halted, at least you tried again and can come back again next year.
At least that way you won’t be regretting not trying to go again. I wish you all the best and whatever choice you make, it’ll be the right one.
Good luck!
You know Ben, from the warmth and comfort of my apartment here I feel like maybe you should give it another go, even if it’s unlikely going to be successful. However, your safety has to be at the forefront of your mind here. No good getting out there and really hurting yourself. I can’t imagine Ambulances are easy to summons from the High Arctic.
There’s a voice inside you that is bigger than any of this. It knows your hunger and it knows your heart. It knows when the time is right. It always speaks to good men and good leaders for they know how to listen.
I second Anton’s comment.
Only you will know when the time is right.
I am so sorry for the ice below your feet… you will be sliding over it 10x faster when you start the second time. The ice won’t even get the slightest chance to enjoy the touch of the skis! :-)
Keep your mood up. It is easy to say when not being in your situation, but as one of the many followers of your expedtion I am absolutely sure that you can make it.
Again.
If not you, who else?
Ben, just get on with it, get on the ice and get hauling, the ice will be fine and the tides will be moderate, plus you’ll be a bit warmer now.
Misery first, fun later.
you know as well as I do that if you don’t at least try a second time that you’re going to regret it.
do it, man. eastern canada is pulling for you.
I’ve little to add; you’ve addressed it all so well yourself my friend. Whatever you decide, we’ve all got your back.
Ben, I was in exactly the same position in 1998 when I suffered from fuel leaks which contaminated our batteries. I was also going for unsupported attempt and made the difficult decision to abort. HRH Prince Phillip said on my return ‘Discretion is better than disaster’...
go for it - if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you tried everything. No regrets. Best of luck to you, Ben!
Really sad to hear this but I look forward to your next attempt
Ben, so sorry to hear of yet another equipment failure halting your progress. They just don’t make things like they used to! Hoping you get back on the ice this year, and wishing you the best from the weather gods.
Third time lucky!
“I have known many adventurous souls who died young.
I have also seen men
Who grew old with comfort,
Whose passion was frozen with caution,
Whose reach was frostbitten by restraint,
Whose dreams were crushed between sheets of conformity,
Who were deafened by the noise in their brains,
Who became unreasonable by thinking,
And who were forever lost in the great wasteland of civilization.”
-Anton Uhl-
Follow your heart…sometimes it whispers, so listen closely..whatever you decide just be safe and take care
It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
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